My Bloody Valentine
by PearlyJammer
Summary: Valentine's Day Gets a Facelift


Title: My Bloody Valentine  
Author: Autumn  
Summary: The dreaded Valentines Day Gets a Facelift!  
________________________________________________________________  
February 14th  
The Distant, but not TOO distant (ahem, Singer) future......  
Twas a pleasant winter's day at Xavier's Palace of Funk. The grass was green and trees were abloom, and all the happy shiny people were-I'm telling the wrong story aren't I? Airplane glue is for approved uses only, must remember that....................  
Scratch that!  
February 14th  
New York  
A young blonde haired man of around 19 crept into position at the end of the X-Men's hallway of living quarters."  
" Blue Heron do you copy?"  
"I copy Cardinal."  
"Move into position, is Vulture ready?"  
"Fuck off."  
"That's a negative Vulture. Would take too much time, and we've only got an 18 minute window here."  
"Shut up! There's someone coming, hit the deck!"  
The sound of footsteps can be heard clicking along the tile of the floor. The muffled noise from a door being opened and shut again alerts the three bandits that they're in the clear.  
"You two, let's move out!"  
The three stooges shuffle out onto the second floor balcony where unbeknownst to the soon-to-be victim, a mic is in place and the stage has been set.......  
"Ow! What was that for moi petite?"  
"You know perfectly well you jerk!"  
"No, I am afraid de Gambit is in de dark. Bring him to the light yes?"  
"Roses are red  
Violets are black  
You'll look much better  
When I get you in the sack?"  
  
"Ma cherie, I swear I did not write such a foul ting!"  
Alas, that did not stop the captured Cajun from getting a handful of Jubilation Lee's rage. The three pranksters moved to the edge of the railing with barely contained laughter. It was a struggle for all three of them to keep the giggles-er manly chuckles from escaping, but they best not get out or the plan would surely be destroyed.  
  
The three pranksters burst through the door of the balcony and collapsed in a great heap against the heavy wooden door. The three men laughed heartily until the burliest of the three interrupted, "Shut up. I hear someone."  
  
As before, the three took up their respected stations and waited. Soon enough the sound of high heels could be heard in the hallway. As the door opened and shut, the barefooted men sprinted down the hallway into Logan's room, which was equipped with three telescoped sighted in on the garage which like the patio was equipped with a miced sound system. Approximately two minutes later, the fireworks exploded.  
  
Dr. Jean Grey stomped over to where her fiancé was at work on his motorcycle and kicked it over. He Scott jumped up to find himself face to face with a very pissed off Jean.  
  
"Scott I know we've been fighting lately, but this was just plain cruel!" she said in a shaking voice as she handed him the offending article.  
  
"Roses are red  
  
Violets are black  
  
You'd look much better  
  
With a knife in your back. You really think I wrote that?"  
  
"I wouldn't put it past you. And as far as I'm concerned, we're over. Happy fucking Valentines day!" Jean shouted before ripping off her engagement ring and throwing it in his face.  
  
Bobby and Logan simultaneously turned to look at St. John, author of aforementioned poem.  
  
"It's for the best" he succinctly stated.  
  
Bobby clapped a hand on his back and complimented the young man "nice damage bro'" before the two blonde men exited the room to enjoy the last of the festivities.  
  
After two rather amusing editions, the two waited in preparation of what was to evolve from the third and final set-up.  
  
To Bobby's surprise, St. John walked past their target area and appeared to be fleeing the building. "Where're you going?"  
  
"I really, really think we should observe this from a safer distance."  
  
"John! You were supposed to be `helpful.' Logan is going to kill you, and drag me down with you."  
  
"I couldn't help myself. Besides, that's what friends are for."  
  
From their new location in the greenhouse, the two friends sat back and waited with some excitement and some trepidation of what was to pass.  
  
"Since this will mean a certain death by clawing, this had better be funny as hell John." Bobby informed his friend in a threatening tone.  
  
"It is, now turn the volume up there. She just walked in."  
  
Meanwhile back at the farm........  
  
A rather angry Rogue entered the lair of the Wolverine with a deceptively calm expression on her face. "Did you write this Logan?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah" he said now shifting uncomfortable. John had assured him this would be good.....  
  
"Roses are red  
  
Lettuce is green  
  
I like your legs  
  
And everything in between."  
  
"I'll explain later, I have a couple of birds too kill." He explained before vaulting down the hallway, and out the mansion to go hunting.  
  
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO ALL!!!!!! 


End file.
